Dear Poe...the advice column

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Sabrina
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RE: Dear Poe...the advice column 2004/10/01 12:04:31 (permalink)
Dear Poe,
Which came first,the chicken or the egg?

Yours,
still confused...

People who think they know everything are a great annoyance to those of us who do.
Isaac Asimov
  
#41
poeboy
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RE: Dear Poe...the advice column 2004/10/01 13:13:03 (permalink)
ORIGINAL: MissBehavior

^^^^true

Dear PoeBOy,

if a guy is a "flight attendant" is he gay?

Dear Miss,

Not necessarily. If, however, he goes by "stewardess" he is.

Ask me for my advice here.
The poeboy Corporation-Improving the world through sex and sarcasm.
#42
poeboy
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RE: Dear Poe...the advice column 2004/10/01 13:14:06 (permalink)
ORIGINAL: Sabrina

Dear Poe,
Which came first,the chicken or the egg?

Yours,
still confused...

Dear Still,

Chicken, since eggs are (to my knowledge) incapable of orgasm. Perhaps The Devil can clarify the egg orgasm thing for us

Ask me for my advice here.
The poeboy Corporation-Improving the world through sex and sarcasm.
#43
Sabrina
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RE: Dear Poe...the advice column 2004/10/01 13:22:49 (permalink)
Dear Poe,
Why is there something rather than nothing?
Yours,
Still Confused

People who think they know everything are a great annoyance to those of us who do.
Isaac Asimov
  
#44
poeboy
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RE: Dear Poe...the advice column 2004/10/01 13:25:25 (permalink)
ORIGINAL: Sabrina

Dear Poe,
Why is there something rather than nothing?
Yours,
Still Confused

Dear Still,

Because something is more exciting, mostly. The only time you will find nothing more exciting than something is when you're discussing clothing. For example, I find women to look great in something, but look fantabooloos in nothing.

Ask me for my advice here.
The poeboy Corporation-Improving the world through sex and sarcasm.
#45
ratman
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RE: Dear Poe...the advice column 2004/10/02 03:03:16 (permalink)
It's almost 2 a.m. and I'm tired. Yet, I have a paper to write that I should have started on a long time ago. What should I do?

-Tired Rat

This Week's Bushism
"If you can't read, it doesn't matter. That's just as simple as that. I mean, I know it doesn't sound very nuanced or sophisticated, but it's true. It's the absolute truth."
#46
Sabrina
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RE: Dear Poe...the advice column 2004/10/02 11:37:25 (permalink)
Dear Poe,
Why is the earth round?
Yours,
Still Lost

People who think they know everything are a great annoyance to those of us who do.
Isaac Asimov
  
#47
iHATEu10666
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RE: Dear Poe...the advice column 2004/10/02 11:42:19 (permalink)
Dear Poeboy,

Are pasta, pizza, and fudgicals appropriate breakfast foods?

Signed, iLOVETOEATITALIANandfudgicals10666times

Back for good. Seriously.

"Lack of money is the root of all evil." -- Oscar Wilde.
#48
Professor Von Snoot
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RE: Dear Poe...the advice column 2004/10/02 23:51:45 (permalink)
Dear Poeboy,

Why the Hell would anyone want to write to a sandwich for advice? Wouldn't they prefer to write to a professor for advice?

PVS
post edited by Professor Von Snoot - 2004/10/02 23:52:37

and the hope of unjust men perisheth.

Proverbs 11:7
#49
hisnameisrobert
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RE: Dear Poe...the advice column 2004/10/03 18:18:59 (permalink)
Dear Poe,

I'm currently seeing a girl who is in the process of getting divorced. She has been married for 4 years, has a 1 and half year old son, and her soon-to-be ex-husband used to beat her on a regular basis. I've known her for about a year now, but we've only been seeing each other for about 2 months.

I care for her a lot, I love her son (and she loves my baby girl), but I'm not sure if what I'm doing here is right. Not to say that it is wrong, but I feel like she's an extremely fragile person who has already told me she loves me and sees us being together in the future, and I have no idea what I'll be doing in the next two weeks, nevertheless the rest of my life.

When I'm with her, everything seems perfect. Her son is great, her family is awesome and she makes me happy.

Should I put her down gently, telling her things are going to fast, or should I strap my seatbelt on and hold on for the wild ride?

She has her mediation with her ex in November. I think everything will get better then, but still...


Regards,

Confused One
post edited by hisnameisrobert - 2004/10/03 22:11:57

Ask Me About My Favorite Regional Theater Performer.
#50
poeboy
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RE: Dear Poe...the advice column 2004/10/04 09:39:28 (permalink)
ORIGINAL: ratman

It's almost 2 a.m. and I'm tired. Yet, I have a paper to write that I should have started on a long time ago. What should I do?

-Tired Rat

Dear Tired,

You have several options here, some of which may actually be possible, but that's up to your judgment. You can travel backwards in time and make yourself start writing it sooner. You can also find some poor intelligent loser with no friends and be his friend, at least until he finishes your paper for you. Or you can offer your professor sexual favors in exchange for a passing grade on that paper. Your call.

Ask me for my advice here.
The poeboy Corporation-Improving the world through sex and sarcasm.
#51
poeboy
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RE: Dear Poe...the advice column 2004/10/04 09:45:32 (permalink)
ORIGINAL: Sabrina

Dear Poe,
Why is the earth round?
Yours,
Still Lost

Dear Still,

Because it's actually a really big marble. Or something.

Ask me for my advice here.
The poeboy Corporation-Improving the world through sex and sarcasm.
#52
poeboy
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RE: Dear Poe...the advice column 2004/10/04 09:46:06 (permalink)
ORIGINAL: iHATEu10666

Dear Poeboy,

Are pasta, pizza, and fudgicals appropriate breakfast foods?

Signed, iLOVETOEATITALIANandfudgicals10666times

Dear iLOVE,

Yes.

Ask me for my advice here.
The poeboy Corporation-Improving the world through sex and sarcasm.
#53
poeboy
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RE: Dear Poe...the advice column 2004/10/04 09:47:28 (permalink)
ORIGINAL: Professor Von Snoot

Dear Poeboy,

Why the Hell would anyone want to write to a sandwich for advice? Wouldn't they prefer to write to a professor for advice?

PVS

Dear PVS,

No, they wouldn't. The reasons are fairly simple:

1. I am not an egotistical prick.
2. The sandwich is a po' boy, so you have repeatedly proven you cannot read nor spell.
3. I have a tighter ass.

Ask me for my advice here.
The poeboy Corporation-Improving the world through sex and sarcasm.
#54
poeboy
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RE: Dear Poe...the advice column 2004/10/04 09:50:50 (permalink)
ORIGINAL: hisnameisrobert

Dear Poe,

I'm currently seeing a girl who is in the process of getting divorced. She has been married for 4 years, has a 1 and half year old son, and her soon-to-be ex-husband used to beat her on a regular basis. I've known her for about a year now, but we've only been seeing each other for about 2 months.

I care for her a lot, I love her son (and she loves my baby girl), but I'm not sure if what I'm doing here is right. Not to say that it is wrong, but I feel like she's an extremely fragile person who has already told me she loves me and sees us being together in the future, and I have no idea what I'll be doing in the next two weeks, nevertheless the rest of my life.

When I'm with her, everything seems perfect. Her son is great, her family is awesome and she makes me happy.

Should I put her down gently, telling her things are going to fast, or should I strap my seatbelt on and hold on for the wild ride?

She has her mediation with her ex in November. I think everything will get better then, but still...


Regards,

Confused One

Dear Confused,

First off, you need to arrange a "blanket party" for her soon-to-be-ex. That's what pussy-faced woman beaters need. Second, if she's that great and she makes you feel that good, follow your heart. Lastly, never ever tell her the joke that goes "What do you tell a woman with two black eyes? Nothin'. You already told her twice."

Ask me for my advice here.
The poeboy Corporation-Improving the world through sex and sarcasm.
#55
Sabrina
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RE: Dear Poe...the advice column 2004/10/04 11:50:10 (permalink)
Dear Poe,
Why is a kiss just a kiss and a sigh just a sigh as time goes by?

People who think they know everything are a great annoyance to those of us who do.
Isaac Asimov
  
#56
poeboy
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RE: Dear Poe...the advice column 2004/10/04 11:55:29 (permalink)
ORIGINAL: Sabrina

Dear Poe,
Why is a kiss just a kiss and a sigh just a sigh as time goes by?

Dear Sabrina,

Because that's the way the Book of Love is written. If a kiss was more than a kiss, say a cheap fling in the back of a rusty '74 Pinto hatchback, unwanted pregancy would be WAY out of control. A sigh is just a sigh as time goes by because time is damn sexy that sighing is all you can do when time walks past you when you're on your 10:00 a.m. smoke break in the alley behind the KMart.

Ask me for my advice here.
The poeboy Corporation-Improving the world through sex and sarcasm.
#57
Sabrina
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RE: Dear Poe...the advice column 2004/10/04 16:28:20 (permalink)
Dear Poe,
Do you think "ss-sss-studio" ever called out Phil Collins' name? Or is she in re-hab still?
Yours,
Curious...

People who think they know everything are a great annoyance to those of us who do.
Isaac Asimov
  
#58
poeboy
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RE: Dear Poe...the advice column 2004/10/04 16:39:25 (permalink)
ORIGINAL: Sabrina

Dear Poe,
Do you think "ss-sss-studio" ever called out Phil Collins' name? Or is she in re-hab still?
Yours,
Curious...

Dear Curious,

I have been told that the object of that song, an actual woman named Sue Sudio, rejected Phil after meeting him in a juice bar at a nudist colony on Catalina Island. To this day, Legend has it she has never even used the word "fill" she hates him so much. No, she is not still in rehab, however she does go back after every one of her scheduled relapses, the next of which is on it's way December 16th.

Ask me for my advice here.
The poeboy Corporation-Improving the world through sex and sarcasm.
#59
Sabrina
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RE: Dear Poe...the advice column 2004/10/04 17:14:57 (permalink)
Dear Poe,
When that shark bites with his teeth...scarlet billows they begin to spread.Fancy white gloves has Macheath....So there's never,never a trace of red....Does this mean Jimmy was a vegan?????

People who think they know everything are a great annoyance to those of us who do.
Isaac Asimov
  
#60
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