Dear Poe...the advice column

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poeboy
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RE: Dear Poe...the advice column 2004/10/07 09:33:04 (permalink)
ORIGINAL: ratman

Dear Poe Meister.

Why are some people completely unable to see anybody beyond their skin color? In other words, why are some people racist?

-The Voice of Reason Rat

Dear the Voice,

Either because they're jealous or weak-minded assholes. They're also scared that their position in society, whatever it may be, is threatened by those they hate.

Ask me for my advice here.
The poeboy Corporation-Improving the world through sex and sarcasm.
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ratman
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RE: Dear Poe...the advice column 2004/10/08 01:54:41 (permalink)
Dear Poe Meister,

What is the meaning of life?

Theological Rat

This Week's Bushism
"If you can't read, it doesn't matter. That's just as simple as that. I mean, I know it doesn't sound very nuanced or sophisticated, but it's true. It's the absolute truth."
#82
ldopas
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RE: Dear Poe...the advice column 2004/10/08 07:02:01 (permalink)
ORIGINAL: ratman

Dear Poe Meister,

What is the meaning of life?

Theological Rat


I'll answer that for him, seeing as we are meant to be a team (yeah right).....its 42. Havent you read the Hitchhikers Guide To The Galaxy?
#83
poeboy
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RE: Dear Poe...the advice column 2004/10/08 09:34:02 (permalink)
ORIGINAL: ldopas

ORIGINAL: ratman

Dear Poe Meister,

What is the meaning of life?

Theological Rat


I'll answer that for him, seeing as we are meant to be a team (yeah right).....its 42. Havent you read the Hitchhikers Guide To The Galaxy?

Dear Theo,

Bacon. It's gotta be bacon.

Ask me for my advice here.
The poeboy Corporation-Improving the world through sex and sarcasm.
#84
ratman
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RE: Dear Poe...the advice column 2004/10/09 01:03:44 (permalink)
ORIGINAL: poeboy

ORIGINAL: ldopas

ORIGINAL: ratman

Dear Poe Meister,

What is the meaning of life?

Theological Rat


I'll answer that for him, seeing as we are meant to be a team (yeah right).....its 42. Havent you read the Hitchhikers Guide To The Galaxy?

Dear Theo,

Bacon. It's gotta be bacon.


I knew it! I knew it! Now, for the next question.

Dear Poe,
Why are Americans so overweight?
-Ratman
post edited by ratman - 2004/10/09 01:04:25

This Week's Bushism
"If you can't read, it doesn't matter. That's just as simple as that. I mean, I know it doesn't sound very nuanced or sophisticated, but it's true. It's the absolute truth."
#85
poeboy
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RE: Dear Poe...the advice column 2004/10/09 07:55:27 (permalink)
ORIGINAL: ratman

Dear Poe,
Why are Americans so overweight?
-Ratman

Dear Ratman,

The addictiveness of reality TV and the overbearing bosses we have that demand we be "on time" thereby forcing us to eat fast food and junk food all the time are to blame for this rather sizeable problem.

Ask me for my advice here.
The poeboy Corporation-Improving the world through sex and sarcasm.
#86
Sabrina
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RE: Dear Poe...the advice column 2004/10/09 12:10:02 (permalink)
Dear Poe,
Did Alfie ever figure out what it's all about?

People who think they know everything are a great annoyance to those of us who do.
Isaac Asimov
  
#87
black_chic
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RE: Dear Poe...the advice column 2004/10/09 14:27:36 (permalink)
Dear Poe

What's love got to with it? What's love but a second-hand emotion? Who needs a heart when a heart can be broken?

what_chick

And yet it moves!
#88
Hoxy
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RE: Dear Poe...the advice column 2004/10/09 14:45:54 (permalink)
Dear Edgar Allen Man,

Mozilla or Internet Explorer?

Signed,
Default by Proxy
#89
Sabrina
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RE: Dear Poe...the advice column 2004/10/09 18:33:48 (permalink)
Dear Poe,
Is Mc Arther park still melting in the dark? Is all that sweet green icing flowing down? Has someone else left a cake in the rain?Did it take so long to bake? Did someone else find a way to take it?
Yours,
Cosmic Pastry Chef....
post edited by Sabrina - 2004/10/10 17:34:59

People who think they know everything are a great annoyance to those of us who do.
Isaac Asimov
  
#90
ratman
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RE: Dear Poe...the advice column 2004/10/10 00:50:14 (permalink)
Dear Poe, High Exalted Uber Adviser

Why are human beings obsessed with smoking foreign substances like tobacco?

-Smoked Rat

This Week's Bushism
"If you can't read, it doesn't matter. That's just as simple as that. I mean, I know it doesn't sound very nuanced or sophisticated, but it's true. It's the absolute truth."
#91
poeboy
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RE: Dear Poe...the advice column 2004/10/11 09:57:38 (permalink)
ORIGINAL: Sabrina

Dear Poe,
Did Alfie ever figure out what it's all about?

Dear Sabrina,

Yes. Bacon.

Ask me for my advice here.
The poeboy Corporation-Improving the world through sex and sarcasm.
#92
poeboy
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RE: Dear Poe...the advice column 2004/10/11 09:58:56 (permalink)
ORIGINAL: black_chic

Dear Poe

What's love got to with it? What's love but a second-hand emotion? Who needs a heart when a heart can be broken?

what_chick

Dear what,

Love has nothing to do with it. Love is not only just a second-hand emotion, but one that hasn't been washed yet, either. And nobody REALLY needs a heart. The damn things don't have a warranty, and the replacement parts of fucking expensive.

Ask me for my advice here.
The poeboy Corporation-Improving the world through sex and sarcasm.
#93
poeboy
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RE: Dear Poe...the advice column 2004/10/11 10:00:02 (permalink)
ORIGINAL: Hoxy

Dear Edgar Allen Man,

Mozilla or Internet Explorer?

Signed,
Default by Proxy

Dear Default,

Depends on what you need. If you want to surf the internet easily, go with IE. If you want a large block of cheese to destroy Tokyo, Mozilla.

Ask me for my advice here.
The poeboy Corporation-Improving the world through sex and sarcasm.
#94
poeboy
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RE: Dear Poe...the advice column 2004/10/11 10:01:14 (permalink)
ORIGINAL: Sabrina

Dear Poe,
Is Mc Arther park still melting in the dark? Is all that sweet green icing flowing down? Has someone else left a cake in the rain?Did it take so long to bake? Did someone else find a way to take it?
Yours,
Cosmic Pastry Chef....

Dear Cosmic,

Yes. Yes. Yes, it was iHATEu10666. Yes, 17 hours. Yes, ratman.

Ask me for my advice here.
The poeboy Corporation-Improving the world through sex and sarcasm.
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poeboy
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RE: Dear Poe...the advice column 2004/10/11 10:04:18 (permalink)
ORIGINAL: ratman

Dear Poe, High Exalted Uber Adviser

Why are human beings obsessed with smoking foreign substances like tobacco?

-Smoked Rat

Dear Smoked,

Because yellow teeth, yellow fingers, poor lung capacity, and raunchy breath are sexy. If you don't think so, you are wrong and stupid. Hollywood tells us it's sexy, so it must be, right? Who are you to argue with Hollywood? Personally, I prefer to smoke either Midol and Pepto-Bismol tablets, that way I get a good buzz while at the same time battling bloating, cramps, heartburn, indigestion, upset stomach and diarrhea (Oooh, Pepto-Bismol!).

Ask me for my advice here.
The poeboy Corporation-Improving the world through sex and sarcasm.
#96
ratman
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RE: Dear Poe...the advice column 2004/10/12 00:53:25 (permalink)
ORIGINAL: poeboy

ORIGINAL: ratman

Dear Poe, High Exalted Uber Adviser

Why are human beings obsessed with smoking foreign substances like tobacco?

-Smoked Rat

Dear Smoked,

Because yellow teeth, yellow fingers, poor lung capacity, and raunchy breath are sexy. If you don't think so, you are wrong and stupid. Hollywood tells us it's sexy, so it must be, right? Who are you to argue with Hollywood? Personally, I prefer to smoke either Midol and Pepto-Bismol tablets, that way I get a good buzz while at the same time battling bloating, cramps, heartburn, indigestion, upset stomach and diarrhea (Oooh, Pepto-Bismol!).


You're an inspiration. I think I'll take up smoking

This Week's Bushism
"If you can't read, it doesn't matter. That's just as simple as that. I mean, I know it doesn't sound very nuanced or sophisticated, but it's true. It's the absolute truth."
#97
ratman
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RE: Dear Poe...the advice column 2004/10/12 00:55:47 (permalink)
Dear Dr. Poe

What are your credentials as a psychologist or advice columnist?

-Suspicious Rat

This Week's Bushism
"If you can't read, it doesn't matter. That's just as simple as that. I mean, I know it doesn't sound very nuanced or sophisticated, but it's true. It's the absolute truth."
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poeboy
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RE: Dear Poe...the advice column 2004/10/12 09:35:56 (permalink)
ORIGINAL: ratman

Dear Dr. Poe

What are your credentials as a psychologist or advice columnist?

-Suspicious Rat

Dear Suspicious,

First off, I must question your need to question. Since I am a published writer and advice-disher-outer, I must be smarter than you, right? Secondly, I gained my BS in psychoananlysis at the very prestigious North Southwestern University located in beautiful downtown Assawoman, Virginia. I spent my early advice-giving career (4 years) giving advice to the readers of the Hornytown (North Carolina) Herald. Then TA offered me this job, at double the money, so how could I say no?

Ask me for my advice here.
The poeboy Corporation-Improving the world through sex and sarcasm.
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ratman
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RE: Dear Poe...the advice column 2004/10/13 01:32:52 (permalink)
First off, I must question your need to question. Since I am a published writer and advice-disher-outer, I must be smarter than you, right? Secondly, I gained my BS in psychoananlysis at the very prestigious North Southwestern University located in beautiful downtown Assawoman, Virginia. I spent my early advice-giving career (4 years) giving advice to the readers of the Hornytown (North Carolina) Herald. Then TA offered me this job, at double the money, so how could I say no?


Sounds fine to me.

Dear Poe,

How can you ween yourself from a Star Wars addiction?

-Addicted Rat

This Week's Bushism
"If you can't read, it doesn't matter. That's just as simple as that. I mean, I know it doesn't sound very nuanced or sophisticated, but it's true. It's the absolute truth."
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